Thailand, Perceptions

I’ve been here 8 days and my perception of Thailand thus far is, like anywhere, a mixture of good and bad. I love the people here! They are sweet, kind and friendly. The food is delicious, and pretty much everything is far less expensive than it is at home. It rains just about every day in these dramatic storms that last no longer than an hour (at least so far) and I love it! I love sitting in Brittany’s living room and watching the huge clouds come in over the city. I love it when the rain is coming down so hard that we have to close the screen door because the rain is bouncing off the porch and into the house. I love wearing my rain boots and I love riding on Brittany’s motorcycle as she ducks and weaves through traffic. I love Thai Song and what they’re doing. I love the staff and I love the YWAM base. I love going to church and meeting people from all over the world. I love the freedom to read an entire book in a single day.

Trying to look tough: partial success on Brittany's part...total failure by me!

I don’t love that it’s always hot. I don’t love the pollution or the smells associated with it. I don’t love living in a huge city. I don’t love the mangy dogs and cats lying around everywhere. I don’t love that I don’t feel safe going running anywhere outside of the apartment complex. I don’t love seeing absolute poverty right next to gigantic mansions. I don’t love the way men look at me and call out things I don’t understand (although it’s probably a good thing I don’t understand them). I don’t love seeing raw meat heaped in piles on a table in the market, exposed to anything and everything that might walk (or fly) by. I don’t love feeling like an arrogant American because my mind jumps immediately to judgment when I’m confronted with things I don’t understand. I don’t love that I can’t just call my parents whenever I want because most of the time I’m awake, they’re asleep. I don’t love that so many of the things I took for granted in the US aren’t readily available here. I don’t love that I’m rarely completely comfortable (although perhaps I should love it because it forces me to constantly depend on God).

I suppose what it comes to, as with anything, is to what I choose to attend. While I can’t change the way things are, I can change my reaction to them. I can choose to see this time as an opportunity to allow God to shape and mold me, or I can choose to be continually overwhelmed. I can choose to submit myself to what I know to be true, regardless of feelings, or I can choose to submit to what I see around me. Just this morning as I was, yet again, trying to sort out my feelings in my journal, I felt the gentle nudge of God. While there is a time and place for introspection, I find myself so often sucked into a perpetual state of it. It’s there I get depressed. It’s there I get stressed out because I don’t understand myself. It’s there I wrest control of the world from the capable hands of God and try to order and organize it myself. It’s there that Jesus has to remind me again and again that I was not designed for that job. I was designed to walk with Him. I was designed to rest with Him. I was designed to live boldly and in freedom because He’s got me. I don’t need to understand everything. I don’t need to fix everything. If I’m allowing Him to lead me I have nothing to fear. I’ll end here with a chorus that gets me every time I hear it. 

Fee, "The Arms that Hold the Universe"

“The arms that hold the universe are holding you tonight. You can rest inside, it's gonna be alright. And the voice that calmed the raging sea is calling you His child. So be still and know He's in control. He will never let you go.”

Week 1

 
Today marks the beginning of my second week in Thailand. That’s hard to believe! So far I’ve been to many of the places that Brittany goes in her day-to-day life including the local markets (probably two acres of tables full of every food imaginable), the mall (way nicer than the malls I’ve been to in the US), random restaurants, church, and the grocery store. 

Last Friday I finally worked up the courage to venture out by myself, point A being Brittany’s apartment, and point B being the YWAM base. I gave myself a pep talk, reviewed all of Brittany’s careful instructions, and headed out. I walked about a quarter mile down to a busy intersection where I could catch a song-touw (I think? It’s a basic pick-up truck with benches in the bed). I missed the first one that passed, failing to recognize it until it was already by. I was ready for the second one though. I caught the attention of the driver by waving my hand discreetly by my side, and swung myself up on the back as it slowed. The bed was full of school kids, thrilled to have a farong (foreigner) ride with them. One girl poked her head out of the crowd to say “Hello”. I responded with “Swadika” (one of the two phrases I knew how to say in Thai). That set them all off, chattering about the farong and her funny accent (I assume that’s what they were talking about). The ride was fun, and we managed to communicate a little bit more before I got off and paid the driver. I crossed the street (worth mentioning only because it pretty much means taking your life into your hands), bought an iced coffee (also worth mentioning only because it was my first time buying anything by myself), crossed the street again, and walked to the base. The whole endeavor probably took about 40 minutes, but by the time I got there, I was pretty much done with adventure for the day :)

The weekend passed quietly, with a small dinner party Friday night, going to a movie at the mall Saturday night, lounging by the pool, going to church and grocery shopping Sunday. I’m finding that my tolerance level for new things (which is pretty much everything) is limited. I love exploring and experiencing this culture, but I find myself overwhelmed after a few hours. It’s been quite a blow to my pride. To someone who considers herself adventurous and tough, admitting limits, especially where she thought she had none, is rough. But that’s a topic for a different entry. For now I’ll sign off with this, something I read this week.


GK Chesterton, "Manalive".

“We shall have gone deeper than the deeps of heaven and grown older than the oldest angels before we feel, even in its first faint vibrations, the everlasting violence of that double passion with which God hates and loves the world”.

Travels

Waiting for my first flight out of Green Bay

Hello everyone! I have arrived safely in Bangkok, Thailand. My flights were all on time, and all of my connections went smoothly. In total the trip was about 24 hours. I sat next to two engineers from the Grand Rapids area going to Korea for business. Their kindness and companionship was comforting. I didn’t sleep much on the flights, so by the time I got here, I was pretty exhausted. Brittany took Wednesday off work to help me adjust to Thailand. We rearranged some of her furniture, ate yummy Thai food from this hole-in-the-wall restaurant and got massages. The masseuses gave me a Thai name. Apparently Thai children are given a legal name that is really long, and then their parents give them a nickname that means something. When Brittany first came to Thailand, the kids at an orphanage she was visiting dubbed her Fa Sai, which means clear sky. The masseuses, knowing that, named me Da Wan, which means the sun. I’m pretty excited about that J. Brittany showed me around the YWAM base and I met the other Thai Song staff. She taught me how to get around by myself on the busses and trucks. All in all, I like Thailand so far. Jet lag is rough and I feel like I’m walking around in a fog all the time, but Brittany assures me the first two days are the worst. It’s so great to be here with Brittany in her world! I’m finally getting the chance to see for myself all of the things she’s told me about in the last two years.